Showing posts with label A loud roaring noise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A loud roaring noise. Show all posts

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Off To The Lists We Go

If this were one of my stories, the title above would involve a walled or hedge-lined berm upon which swords, maces and other weapons are swung by knights or knights-training at their peers.
As this is a Blog on the Internet, what we are paying attention to at this time of year are the other kinds of lists.
First on my list-of-lists are the ones wherein we try to identify the things we liked most… or least from the previous year. Books, movies, songs, etc… They all wind up on somebody's lists.
Some people write lists in order to sway public opinion for… or against particular people, places or things that go bump in the night. Cities, politicians, artists, authors, musicians… They all wind up on someone’s list.
Make it on enough lists and you graduate to some ‘Great list-of-lists’ that someone, somewhere, is keeping… most likely in order to know what you like so they can sell you more of it.   
I won't bore you with my own lists, partially because they're lists of plot mechanisms, story-line queues and Pet PeevesI keep mine in cages and rarely feed them… but primarily as I know plenty of other people with either more fertile imaginations or axes to grind have already done theirs.
So, I wish you happy hunting, with my blessings.
Next on my list-of-lists is the New Years Resolutions list wherein people promise to do… or not to do, that is the question… better in the coming year.
Since these lists have the life expectancy of a glass of ones favourite alcoholic beverage… like the ones consumed prior to the making of 'The List', we'll ignore them and move on.
My second-to-least favourite kind are what have become known as Bucket-Lists; a list of all the things we want to do and places we want to go before we kick the proverbial bucket and become nothing more than a cached-copy in the archives of the Internet and a side-note in the great Wiki-on-the-web-of-life.
Most bucket-lists are, in-my-not-so-humble opinion, hyperbole.
Perhaps I've been lucky, or simply fortunate, or maybe not. I've been able to travel and see much of the world around us (and have wished at various times and in various places not to have), and do most of the things I wished I could do… especially those I wished when I was a child … but none of my lists had anything to do with buckets.
They were my dreams… my goals in life that through blood, sweat and grit I could, and did accomplish. Some have been worthwhile, others weren't worth the yak-spit they incurred or the shekels they cost… and some I have yet to do, but as I am a glass (or bucket) half-full kind of person, I have no intention of emptying mine. I intend to have it sloshing over the top, looking to fill yet another.
Last but not least; my least favoruite kind of lists (and I imagine yours as well) are the ones we make to remind us of the things we need to do 'when we get a ‘round tuit' and then promptly ignore them… The infamous To-Do List(s)
Authors Note: I have a drawer full of 'Round Tuits' that have been for the most part doing nothing more than collecting dust… in case anyone would like to help me out with a list or three. 

Friday, November 25, 2011

I Hate First Drafts

I freely admit it! I Hate First Drafts... because they suck! 

Whether it's your first or your fiftieth novel or novelette or short story or... It makes no difference. When you're busy writing it, you'll think its the most brilliant and original thing you've done to-date.

... but when the ink dries and you've taken a deep breath, you realise upon re-reading your literary masterpiece just how much it sucks.

But guess what?

I believe that in the grand scheme of things, its supposed to. 

Believe-it-or-not, this is a good thing

By admitting this and giving yourself permission to suck, it allows you to get all the worst of the bad ideas for your novel/screenplay/short story/etc... out of your system. 
  • Regardless of the hours spent in research, character development and world-building. 
  • Regardless of the outline, the storyboard or all the fiddly bits you thought out and planned to put into it.
When you begin the first draft, don't worry about them or the gaps and gaffes and obvious nonsense. Play freely with all the little flights of fancy.

... And ignore the person with the red pen behind the little green screen in your mind.

Because the process of writing doesn't really begin until after the first draft is done. 







Friday, August 26, 2011

Lion Mail: To POP or APOP, That Is The Question


The process of migrating eMail from OS X SnowLeopard to Lion has not been quite as simple from some as it might be.

The migration of our Earthlink POP Accounts was straight forward.






The system recognised the configuration properly and the accounts were good to go, so I assumed the other ISP we used would be as well.


Well, we all know that to assume makes an ass out of you and me.





The other ISP uses the same address for both the outbound and inbound mail service... mail.providername.netand does not use an POP/APOP Authorisation, but instead requires Username & Password authorisation, which means that you have to configure the outgoing mail server manually.



 ..and TaDa! Success!

All of which we determined by trial and error because, like many ISP's, their on-line support documentation does not match the actual current service configuration.



... and there are several other possible configuration permutations, depending upon which service you're using. 

If you're migrating IMAP accounts... that's a-whole-nother-story

But, the moral of the story? 

The Bottom Line?

Instead of wasting time swearing at the software or cursing  the developers, call your service provider's help-desk and ask for HELP.


Saturday, July 30, 2011

2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Can it be that another year has passed? 

Well, it has, and the results of the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been posted.

For the benefit of those of you who are new to this scrumptious literary novelty, allow me to explain.

Each year the English department at San Jose State University sponsors the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a writing competition which pays homage to Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, the man responsible for one of the hackiest opening lines in literature: “It was a dark and stormy night.”

The idea is to create an awful opening line for a fake work of fiction.

This year’s overall winner was University of Wisconsin Oshkosh professor Sue Fondrie, who submitted the following: “Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”

Notably, it is the shortest winner in the contest’s 29 year history.

Click the link above to read all of the winning … and losing, groan-inducing entires.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Play For Pay: Harry Potter & The Hypocrisy of the Church

An article in today's Columbus Dispatch by Meredith Heagney trumpets,

                             Faith leaders forgive Harry Potter  


"It wasn't so long ago that an orphan boy with a lightning-bolt scar was considered a danger to America's children, at least by some Muggles. Conservative Christians blasted the Harry Potter books and movies as promoting witchcraft and black magic.


"But years have passed, and Harry has grown up to become a mainstay in pop culture. Ahead of next Friday's release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, the eighth and final movie in the series, religious critics are largely absent."


As glad as I am to see that the faithful have finally come to their senses, signalling what we all hope is the end of religious persecution of a group of fictional characters, I have to wonder why. 


It seems to me that the reason is obvious; the religious institutions that were here-to-fore persecuting the author and her books have finally figured out how to play them in a different light.

Indeed;


"In fact, many voices of faith are trumpeting the morals and values of the series, which they say can teach timeless truths about love, courage and sacrifice."


They still do not like the witchcraft and wizardry, which is the magic that makes the Harry Potter series what it is... a compelling coming-of-age tale of good-versus-evil set in a fantasy world.


Meanwhile, back-at-the-ranch, these same religious leaders continues to demonise other fantasy writers for committing the same sins that author J.K Rowling supposedly committed.


The real meaning of all this I'll leave to you, the reader to decide, but I know where I'd place my bets.




 You can read the the entire Columbus Dispatch article here

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Chapter 1: Redo Fphen, ScriptMistress.

The ScriptMistress sat back in her chair with a sigh of relief. At long last, the editing of the manuscript from the nether regions was done. 
She gave the cockoo clock in the corner a scathing glare at is began to chirp the hour. The job had consumed most of her time for the past three weeks. 
She looked longingly out the window of her tower, watching with envy the white flakes of snow drifting down upon the city. Outside it was Christmas Eve. Her friends would be making Merry at the Pig-In-A-Poke Ale House and she wished to be there with them.
She gave a forlorn look at the stack of menus in the corner. A proper meal would be most welcome, but it was too late to dine; the eating establishments would all be closed, and thanks to her brother Hubbard, who was staying over "longer than planned due to unforeseen circumstances," the cupboard at home was bare. For most of the month she'd been subsisting on out-takes from The Hock-of-Ham Beanery and Feng Shui's Chopsuey house. 
Well, tonight she would have a pint or two of The Pigs best, then go home to rest. Tomorrow she would feat with friends at His Majesty's expense at the annual Kings Feast. 
Buoyed by the thought, she reached for a small piece of foolscap, lifted her quill from its well and wrote;
'Invoice enclosed. Please Pay Promptly.'
She inked her initials in broad, stylised strokes.
Wrapping the manuscript carefully, she placed it inside one of her patented 'Revisions-In-A-Fortnight' (TM) messenger cases and locked it with the client’s private code. Standing, she stretched, feeling her age and found it depressing. 
Despite this, she yanked the bell-pull and waited until the runner appeared in her doorway. As she handed him the case she asked, "All has been quiet?"
"Aye ScriptMistress, it has, although there is still that bunch at the door. I tol' 'em you'd now't be seeing others today, but most look like lambs who has lost their way.'
She shook her head. Poor fools, some of them penniless; they congregated at the scriptorium door and would read aloud whenever someone came to enter or exit the establishment, hoping against hope that one of the ScriptMaster's would find it in their hearts to pass favourable judgements on their often equally penniless clients all too meagre efforts.
The ScriptMistress sighed and gathered her cloak and dagger, swirling it around and over her shoulders, then settling and smoothing it before reaching into her locked box and removing her most prised possession. 
After a last look about the room, she left it for the boy to clean up, pausing only to dim the mage lights before stepping carefully down the circular staircase and reaching for the door key. 
Stepping outside, she paused to turn and lock the door before turning to face the small crowd.
Standing amongst them, grinning like a ferret, one man began to read loudly. She begged him halt, then looked at him. LInus Hockingscript was a pirate, wanted in several lands for his adulterations of well-known manuscripts, which he sometimes successfully passed off as original works.
"Have not I warned thee not to darken my doorstep, Master Thief?"
He began to protest, speaking again from the now snow covered pages, upon which she could see clearly his careless scribbling.  
Redo Fphen sighed, then reached into the soft, supple, golden leather pouch at her waist and drew her Smith&Wesson bolt action quill and dropped in a cartridge.
Too late, Linus looked up from the pages to see her take aim. He tried to make a hasty 'exit, stage left' but instead fell though the black hole she'd quickly inked in his path.
Returning the weapon to her pouch, she looked upon the now withdrawing crowd. 
"Get thee gone, for it is Christmas Eve, and I am of no mind to suffer fools this night. Next time, make an appointment."
With that, she strode off, stopping to roll up the black hole, lest someone else  step in it.
Reaching the doors of the Pig, she calmed as she heard those within laughing and listening to the Carols of Christmas sing their latest hit tunes. Inside, she felt the warmth envelope her as she made her way to the bar.
Will 'Shakes' Spearion, the owner, gave her a friendly wave and slid a cold pint into her hands before pointing her toward a table by the fire. She hesitated, as one of the chairs was already occupied, but continued on when she saw him to be an old friend.
"Greetings of the season, Red, "said The Shadow, raising his glass in a toast.
A turn of the glass passed quickly as other friends wandered by to speak their greetings while Yancy 'Yellin' Yolan, an orator of dubious repute stood in the corner, trying to convince others that the noise he'd heard on his roof the past Christmas Eve was the great man himself... and not, as all well knew, a couple of drunks trying to get into the wrong house.
All was going well until just a quarter of the hour of midnight.  Red was shooting darts against a pair 'o docs from the local E.R. when the front door of The Pig slammed open and the blowing snow followed three darkly dressed strangers in from the night. 
Red turned to look and blanched white as snow the moment she saw them. 
These were outlaws of the worst sort, wanted by the crown for unimaginable crimes of heresy.
Will chose that moment to sidle over to her. "I want no trouble in here. Those witches last year were bad enough."
Redo shook her head.
"This is much worse," was all she could utter.
She knew them, only too well. She had avoided being implicated for her involvement with them years before. The last thing she needed now was to be identified in public by one of them. 
At the very least it would mean the end of her career. She'd be back-listed by the guilds for the rest of her life. At the worst, the crown would put her away for a very long time.
Taking care to seem as if she were heading to the W.C., she slipped her cloak off the back of the chair and headed toward the rear of the pub.
'Shakes' caught up with her just at the door.
"Who are they, Red?"
"The worst kind, Will."
As she slipped outside, she turned to face him.
"They're Anthologists."

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

8 March 2011: Today is the Centenary International Women's Day

Artwork by Google

A hundred years ago today, women around the world took an historic step on the long road to equality. 

The first ever International Women’s Day drew attention to the unacceptable and often dangerous working conditions that so many women faced worldwide. 

Despite being celebrated in only a handful of countries, over one million women took to the streets to demand not only improved working conditions but also the right to vote, to hold office and to be equal partners with men.

While advancement of women’s rights has been one of the most profound social revolutions the world has seen, those first courageous pioneers would likely view the world today with a mixture of pride and disappointment.

One hundred years ago, only two countries allowed women to vote. Today, that right is virtually universal. Women have been elected to lead governments on every continent and hold leading positions in professions from which they were once banned. 

Two-thirds of countries have specific laws that penalize domestic violence, and the United Nations Security Council now recognises sexual violence as a deliberate tactic of war. Yet police, the courts and many of our neighbours still see violence in the home as a wholly private matter. 


Despite progress, the hopes and dreams of those who marched that first International Women’s Day remain a long way from being realised. Globally, two out of every three illiterate adults are still women, and girls remain less likely to be educated than boys. 


Despite the knowledge, skill and resources to insure safe births, somewhere on this planet 
a woman will die in pregnancy or due to childbirth-related complications Every Ninety Seconds of Every Day. 

Globally, women continue to earn less than men for the same work. In many countries we have unequal access to land and inheritance rights. 

Despite advances, women still represent only nineteen percent of all legislators. Only twenty-eight women are heads of state or government.

It is not just women who pay the price for this discrimination. We all suffer for failing to make the most of half the world’s talent and potential. We undermine the quality of our democracy, the strength of our economies, the health of our societies and the sustainability of peace. 

This year’s focus of International Women’s Day is on women’s equal access to education, training, science and technology. At the same time, the global agenda remains; to secure gender equality and women’s rights in every country, in every corner of our globe.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

From The Land Of Misfit Manuscripts:Why Do Writers Abandon Novels?

Illustration by Ben Wiseman

In the 4 March 2011 edition of the NewYork Times, writer/author Dan Kois posits an interesting question in his essay piece: Why Do Writers Abandon Novels?

Whether you're still working toward that first publication or you're working on the fifteenth volume of your chapbook fantasy serial, I'm sure you have at least one misfit manuscript in your drawer or file of projects that were abandoned or forgotten that has at least a glimmer of hope left in it.

I recently came across a manuscript I'd put it in an envelope some twenty years ago and marked it; Do Not Open Unless I'm Long Dead and Buried

For the life of me I could not remember why, so I opened it, read the manuscript... and promptly ran it through the shredderIt was a good idea that had been badly executed.

Why I saved it I shall never know, except perhaps that the good idea was waiting for me to become a better writer.

How about you?



 





 





Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The First Amendment Cuts Both Ways

The First Amendment Cuts Both Ways

An article by author Lynn Flewelling on a recent supreme court decision that's all over the news.


Saturday, January 1, 2011

We Don't Need No Stinking Resolutions

We don't make resolutions, for we have The Plan!


It is subject to constant revision, as most plans are, according to the whims of clients and vagaries of the real world. It also goes-to-hell-in-a-handbasket when you least expect it... as most plans do.


Thankfully, we also have The Rules!


Rule Number One: Follow The Plan! 


If something goes wrong it must be someones fault. When this occurs, the person whose fault it is goes on THE LIST!


Rule Number Two: In cases of failure, refer to Rule Number One!


May wisdom be your guide and fortune be the path you follow.


Here's wishing all of us a wise and fortunate year.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Twas the Night After Christmas

On the night after Christmas, quiet as a mouse...
the new puppy had scattered bows and ribbons and wrapping paper all over the house.

Clean as I would, exhausted as I could be,
there was always a new surprise in store for me.

When at last I was done and the trash was hauled out, 
I sat down to relax, but there suddenly came a shout.

I jumped up from my chair, alarmed by the clatter, I ran to see just what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should I find? 
The puppy had eaten a hole in the behind 
of my partners favourite shorts...

In rebuke no doubt for spoiling his sports. 




Friday, November 12, 2010

My question is this; Why aren't YOU participating in NaNoWriMo?



                   I was told today that "NaNoWriMo writers are psychotic."


Demented maybe, but consider please; I am a writerMy normal daily output is usually somewhere around four thousand words. Usually that's divided between several projects... both writing and editing.


I don't usually count all the other extraneous writing I do in the course of a day, but I became curious after all the scribbling I've been reading about how those participating in the project are "wasting their time" and how those "words would be better spent elsewhere." 


                          Curiosity killed the cat.


I created a small utility programme that allows me to turn a counter on and off when I'm typing blog entries, emails and messages on GoodReads, Facebook and couple of other daily communications and networking apps.


Granted that it may be ten words here and fifty there... but I discovered that I cumulatively write somewhere around two thousand words a day. 


     Writing 1,667 words in a day equals 50,000 in a month.


So, imagine what would happen if you were to take all the words you write between chat and notes and texting and remarks that you make during the course of a day, and focus them on one task.


During the month of November I've cut my external commenting down by over half and focused all my writing effort toward one book... the one I committed myself to start writing during NaNoWriMo.




        P.S. If my counter is correct, this message, sans title contains 314 words.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

It's NaNoWriMo Time

It was a dark and stormy night. 


Well, not really... Actually, it was a cold moonlit night. The tree's had dropped their leaves and dumped thousands of acorns underfoot, causing every step to sound like a thousand people eating crunch bars in unison.


While we're off doing the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), we invite you to read The UNLOCKED Project Never-Ending Story, and contribute... if you dare!

Monday, November 1, 2010

We ARE the Champions!


And the 2010 World Championship goes to:



                            The San Francisco Giants!!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Won't They Ever Learn?

ABFFE Earns Injunction in Alaska (From Publishers Weekly)






Booksellers, librarians and other media groups won an injunction on Thursday in Federal District Court in Alaska to Senate Bill 222, which made anyone who operates a Web site that features content deemed "harmful to minors" criminally liable.

The plaintiffs--among them Fireside Books, the Alaska Library Association, American Booksellers Foundation for Free Expression, the AAP, and the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund--claimed the bill infringed on citizens' First Amendment rights and would also result in potential prosecution for librarians and retailers based on what they lent and sold online and in their stores.

The plaintiffs' attorney, Michael Bamberger of SNR Denton, said the statute was "overbroad" and his clients were happy the courts recognized it posed a "clear violation of the First Amendment rights of all citizens, in Alaska and throughout the country."

SB 222, as the bill is called, was signed by Governor Parnell in May; the details of the case, American Booksellers Foundation for Free Expression, et al. v Sullivan, and Alaska, can be found at www.akclu.org.





Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Outline What?

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) begins on the first of November. So many things to do and so little time to prepare for thirty days of concentrated mind-altering insanity.
First on the list is deciding what it is you're going to write: fiction, nonfiction, comedy, satire, poetry... 
Wait a minute! A fifty thousand word Novel in poem form? Well, maybe not. 
It doesn't hurt to have an idea of the story you want to tell, or what genre it fits. 
Next, forget that your idea is going to be seen by hundreds, or possibly thousands of other writers, or that it may inspire others. 
As my friend and publishing columnist for the Toronto Examiner, Renee Miller wrote: "Have faith in your ability to write something truly unique. The important part is the writing, not the concept. Anyone can take a concept and do something with it, but only a select few will do something wonderful."
After that comes the easy part: writing an outline of your novel. The amount of detail is up to you, but it should include a summary of events, main characters, settings, etc.
It's neither as easy as it sounds nor as hard as it looks.  
The hard part, the writing of a novel, or at least the first fifty thousand words of one, in thirty days and thirty nights is the hard part.  Don't worry about editing... that comes later.
Oh... and Don't forget to stock the pantry.  

Good Luck to all, and may sanity prevail.