2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Can it be that another year has passed? 

Well, it has, and the results of the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been posted.

For the benefit of those of you who are new to this scrumptious literary novelty, allow me to explain.

Each year the English department at San Jose State University sponsors the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a writing competition which pays homage to Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, the man responsible for one of the hackiest opening lines in literature: “It was a dark and stormy night.”

The idea is to create an awful opening line for a fake work of fiction.

This year’s overall winner was University of Wisconsin Oshkosh professor Sue Fondrie, who submitted the following: “Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”

Notably, it is the shortest winner in the contest’s 29 year history.

Click the link above to read all of the winning … and losing, groan-inducing entires.